Awakening My Heart

Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash

Note: This is a soul journal session I wrote on March 3, 2019. For those who are new here, I have connected with my Soul, as learned from Elisa Romeo’s book, Know Your Soul, and her name is Aiyeesha.

Aiyeesha, I tried to connect with you but I could not hear you. There is a lot of background noise. I know I created it. I don’t know why I’m so resistant of late.

Life wish/death wish, I guess.

It is no secret how hard I find life on Earth to be. I feel without direction again. I did hear you (I think it was you) a while back say, “Make little things and put your consciousness into everything you make” and goddess alter art came to mind. Spirit dolls. Bringing people into consciousness. It feels so hopeless and yet, as I watched a video with Elisa Romeo, that is the point. That hopelessness is why we have to do whatever we have to do.

My work is to raise consciousness. Mine and others’. THE work. The only work.

I did a 5 card tarot spread with my Mother Mary Oracle cards (by Alana Fairchild) on my career. Here’s what came about:

I am in the job I am to bring consciousness. I can ask the Angels for help. I have not done that before. I can be more open to messages in the future by paying attention to what my heart feels. My guide has been trying to convey that I take all that I am into my work. I am a healer. Up until now, I’ve been blocking off that part of me at work. This IS my healing work. This IS my holy mission. The message my guide wanted to give me is the same card I’ve had sitting on my altar for weeks. Our Lady of Soul Birth:

“…becoming a divinely awakened human being is a raw, wild and beautiful path, often with great suffering…She empowers us, through her wisdom, to take the journey with a fearless faith in her divine protection and guidance when we are in need.”

So I already know I do not take my Soul to work with me consciously. I know now She is always there with me. But I pretty much ignore her. Up until now. I have clarity now. The Angels are there, waiting for me to ASK for help.

Here’s the layout and the cards I pulled with a synopsis of the meaning (to me). You can find the layout I used from Emerald Lotus here.

Card 1: Card to represent your Guide – 3. Our Lady of Becoming

…comes to you with a message of grace and divine blessing from Mother Mary…comes to you at a time when you may be uncertain of your future…you are asked to surrender your concerns into Mother Mary’s care and to take a step – any step- that feels right for you.

Confirmation my Soul really has my back. I’ve pulled this card consistently for months.

Card 2: A message your Guide would like to give you in this moment – 5. Our Lady of Soul Birth

Somewhere in your life, in your relationships or within yourself, you have been holding back…you were worried that what wanted to come out was not acceptable, or that you would be shamed. Mother Mary tells you that she loves you and wants you to blossom…There is nothing to fear, there is only love that is growing.

I was in a place of wanting to write this blog, share my experiences, but also SO much fear was blocking me on taking action.

Card 3: Something your Guide has been trying to convey to you that you have not been receptive to in the past – 44. Our Lady of Charity

I call upon my strongest children to aid those in need…If you are interested in a profession of healing, or spiritual guidance or teaching in some way, pray to her to help you find the path forward, and do not worry about how it will come to pass.

I had never pulled this card before, so this was very exciting. I was feeling very torn about my profession. I sensed I had something more to do in this life, to do with all of those things mentioned above. I could not, for the life of me, see how my current job was in alignment with this calling I was feeling.

Card 4: How to be more open to messages from your Guide in the future – 9. Our Lady of Passion

Dare to dream of your fulfillment, beloved. I bring you the resources you need to succeed, so that all of this planet may benefit from your heart on fire with divine passionate purpose….the time has come.

This had everything to do with opening up and channeling my Soul, writing, sharing. Shortly after I did this spread, shifts happened and I learned to channel my Soul, who goes by the name of Aiyeesha.

Card 5: What is this Guide helping you with on your path – 25. Our Lady Who Sends the Angels

I have vast resources and can assist you in endless ways. Pray to me that I may send you my angels…Your sense of angelic energy around you is absolutely accurate and correct, and you are asked to trust in these beings and continue to pray for their assistance, protection and intervention.

More confirmation I am on my right path.

Check out Emerald Tarot ( for more awesome spreads. It’s becoming my go-to.

Caramel Cream

Background image thanks to Karen Culp

I had a lot of questions this session. After the first response, I admit, I felt a little panicked, as if this connection was something I just made up and it wasn’t real and wasn’t going to last. I am pleased to say, I have since been proven the opposite.

Q: What does my Beloved Soul want me to know?

Caramel cream. The Sweetness of Life.

(Baffled me, honestly, but okay, let’s go with it. Who knows what will come…)

Q: What should my business be about?

Write. Be a place of depth. Cut through the noise.

Q: Why am I having a hard time connecting today?

There is no reason and there is no difficulty. We are communicating all the time. I will never leave you. There is much noise on the internet. You will create a calm oasis of sanity. Don’t worry about how you will make money. Leave that up to us.

Q: What do I need to do for my physical body?

Yoga. Move all of that energy stored in your cells out into the world.

And then: Whenever we give you a download, just write about it. Add your own thoughts. For the highest and best for all.

And so it begins…

Love and Above

Photo by Samantha Hurley from Burst

There is a new way to be, you MUST be, if you want to manage moving forward.

More play. Letting go of this idea you have of the world, of Life, of how it is “supposed to be”.

Radical acceptance of a new way. Radical letting go.

Q: How do I do this? How do I remove the blocks that are keeping me in fear?

Writing. It will always come from the highest and best part of yourself. Choose to write nothing but. When every word comes from Soul, they can’t touch that and there’s nothing to fear.

Not the trolls. Not the Muggles. No one. No thing. Nothing.

Make more art. That is your form of play. And play helps you loosen your grip. That place in your mind where you go and suspend all judgement. Where Soul can connect with you easier – if you are open. You can BE more open when you play. When you remove yourself from the mundanity of your life. (yes, that’s the word She used!)

Q: What do I need to know now?

Nothing. Just sit down and write.