this process of creating your own reality is not for the faint of heart. it can be very disheartening to think you’re working on creating the life of your dreams, when you get tired after awhile of your dream life not showing up..the doubt starts to creep in.
maybe i’m supposed to do something else.
maybe i read the signs from the universe ‘wrong’.
it’s none of that. not really.
it IS a matter of what we’ve been feeding our subconscious mind. and i feel i can say that with certainty, because i’ve been working on creating a reality of my choosing for years. YEARS. and i kept just needing a break. i kept second-guessing myself. i kept thinking there was something WRONG with me that i could not breakthrough to the successful life i had in mind for myself.
don’t get me wrong.
i am super-grateful for the life i DO have.
and i am done feeling BAD for wanting to live a bigger, more adventurous life.
see, the way i want to live is quite contrary to the way the rest of my family lives. and the things i may want to do may seem normal to any other family and you might wonder what i’m talking about. it is truly, i can see now, why the paths we walk are so personal.
i feel i’ve exhausted all the reasons why my reality is showing up as something other than what i thought it would be.
here’s the thing: it’s not enough to just (often casually) imagine or envision the thing you want to show up. or the feeling you want to feel in this reality. it’s about really hammering home in your subconscious mind – AND KEEPING IT CURRENT – that our realities are created.
i DON’T keep my current desired reality in mind very much. i’m lazy like that. it’s obviously not enough or else it would be here already. and it’s not, because i keep dropping it from my mind. i spend a few minutes each day, if i’m lucky, to dream that little dream, but then i let it float away as life catches up on me.
i mean, who doesn’t do that?!!
there is more that i can be doing. i can be expressing my gratitude WAY more than i do. i can wake up with a grateful heart, instead of this lazy-minded vagueness i know i’ve been rocking for the past number of years. some days i wake up miserable. guess what? i tend to attract misery in some form or another. and that gets quite exhausting, you know?
i’m done with it. i’m done with this meager existence. oh, i’m grateful, definitely. i have come MILES from where i used to be.
but i won’t settle.
there is still so much more of life that i want to experience, on my own, and with my family.
i’ve been settling. because what i’ve achieved/created IS better than ever.
i don’t need to apologize for wanting to experience more. this isn’t even a matter of believing i am worthy of all the goodness the universe has for me. there was a time, for sure, that was the case; but not anymore.
i know, without a doubt, that i am worthy.
we all are. and it IS important to grow to a place of knowing this.
i know for sure there is more work for me to do in the way i think, in the way i feel, in my daily habits. sure, it might feel downright goofy sometimes to say a mantra every morning and evening. but keep doing it. don’t let the naysayers get to you. don’t let society, the same society that will always want to keep you in your place, convince you that citing mantras will not change anything about your life.
they will change everything about your life.
i feel like i’ve tried everything but really committing to my dream. it’s been easy, up until now, to blame, essential, the lack of my dreams coming true, on the universe or my place in society or my upbringing.
THOUSANDS of people from less than great starting points have managed to make the changes they needed to make to become successful, joyful people.
it’s been done. it’s being done. there are no more excuses.
this just feels like the breakthrough i’ve been waiting for, wondering about. i was stuck in a place where i started to believe this really was ‘it’. this was all i was going to get out of life. that my dreams were just a tease.
it was all quite sad, really.
but then i realized, and remembered, that we are not given desires in life if we do not have the means to make them manifest.
i have dreams. still. i remember them. i just haven’t been really working on my subconscious mind to make them real. it takes a lot of repetitive behaviour to do that. that’s not a belief. it’s science. created reality is made by laying down neural pathways. by repeating desires as though they are present tense happening. by feeling into that reality AS IF IT IS ALREADY MADE MANIFEST. something shifts in the brain. repeat it frequently enough, with emotion, and that pathway begins to appear.
i’ve never been more excited on this journey than i am today. i feel focused and ready and excited! now i’m going to go feed my mind….