I had napped during the day yesterday, so I was surprisingly awake at 2 a.m. binge-watching a British cop show on Netflix. I forced myself to go to sleep because I have this Corgi monster who will wake me up in the morning NO MATTER WHAT. Who needs an alarm clock? Not I.
I woke up a mere four-ish hours later and looked at the machine that helps me breathe at night. It tells me how long it was on and how many apneic episodes I had during that time. This morning it was an alarming 15 episodes! A L A R M I N G. It’s like I hardly actually slept at all.
I thought, well, this is going to be an interesting day. Good thing it is all mine to call my own. Then I remembered….I wrestled an alligator in my dreams.
I know. Who does THAT?!
While I was wrestling, I told myself to remember this dream, to interpret it. It was so unusual. And so real. It was definitely an alligator – not a crocodile. I don’t live anywhere near where alligator reside, by the way. It was totally symbolic and came to me for some reason. It was FIERCE and I was NOT going to win. Then something reminded me that I have the power to change anything happening in my dreams or my life.
And I do. As do you.
I’ve been through an extremely transformative few days, in leaving my job of 7-plus years, the stress of a crazy, disrespectful workload. My body has been decompressing since Thursday as I feel aches and pains of my muscles as the years-stored tension releases from my body. My daily tarot for yesterday was 2 of Pentacles – all about change. Today it was 7 of Cups, all about releasing indulgent behaviours. Man, I am RIGHT in it.
I knew the alligator was a powerful symbol for me. My go-to site for learning about symbolism is Avia Venefica’s What’s Your Sign.
There was a TON of information on her site regarding alligators/crocodiles. I wrote down all the bits that resonated with me and just sort of let it all seep in. What I have taken from the information is this: the alligator is a fearless, ancient creature with forthright energy (yeah…I know. I was wrestling with it, and I was not going to win). It sees clearly into emotional worlds. The Native American meaning is that it is responsible for creation. It has a deep abiding connection to the Mother (Nature).
And here I was, wrestling with it. What was the wrestling about? Am I wrestling with my creative process? When I combine this with the card I drew this morning – 7 of Cups – hmmm…what comes to mind is the call of my creative expression balanced with the change in jobs. The alligator does not want me to just change jobs. And that is not my intention. Alligator wants me to really do what I intended to do with this change – uplevel my creative expression. My intention in getting this job was not only to release me from the grips of the previous job – oh, it had it’s jaw LOCKED on me HARD. It was also to give me some breathing space. To give me back some of my time (no more commuting for 1.5 hours/day) and to still hold me in a similar financial income space, which is actually an act of self-love.
Alligator is about fierce protection. Alligator does not want me to forget about my creative dreams. All those images, visions, ideas that do not stop coming through. There is SUCH an abundance, like picking fruit off the orchard trees. Ideas everywhere, all the time. Alligator can help me become grounded and settled into my emotions. I see a path unfolding in front of me.
This was a very powerful and significant dream for me. This FIERCE alligator energy – it’s DAUNTING. I was FIGHTING with it, for Goddess-sake. Those who know me would never associate my personal energy with an alligator, which I find so funny, and certainly got my attention, which reminds me that the Universe always has a sense of humour.
I am so grateful for this gift. I intend to remember and call upon alligator energy in the days and weeks ahead as I break old habits of thought that are destructive and create a life full of creative intention. I am so very, very happy with my Self and my life right now. It was tremendous work to get here. Lots of wrestling 🙂 Lots of intention setting, too. Forging ahead with my own version of forthright energy, like the alligator. Ooooh. I’m a beast, heh?!